Monday, October 27, 2008

Are you sleeping, brother John?

Only during the day. He's up and alert for most of the night.

I'll be scarce until I can get his schedule reversed. If anyone has practical advice, I'll take it!

67 comments:

The Deal Lady said...

We really liked the Baby Wise method. Hope you get some rest soon!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Meredith-
No advice...I think a mom just has to keep trying to get them up during the day and down at night as much as possible, but of course, most little ones have ideas of their own, and that usually doesn't include sleeping at night!
He's a beautiful baby, Meredith. I think he looks a lot like your husband (judging from some of the photos you've posted over the years). Have a great week!
Susan

Cathy @ Chief Family Officer said...

Er, you could tough it out for two months. We didn't know any better the first time around, and that's about how long it took (my friend's son took about two months too).

Or, you could keep waking him during the day, and nurse like crazy during the early evening (i.e., cluster feed). He's still so little, though, so I'm not sure he can "tank up" that much. Sorry, I wish I had more suggestions - I know it's awful. It was hard enough with one, I can't imagine how it must be when you can't accommodate baby's schedule and sleep during the day yourself!

Anonymous said...

Here's a PS to my comment above: How are YOU feeling, Meredith? Have things resolved with your blood sugar, and are you feeling better now? Hope so!
Susan

Meredith@MerchantShips said...

Yes, I feel GREAT! Tired, but GREAT!

I felt so "off" for so long that anything better is a vast improvement!

Anonymous said...

Hi, Meredith-
It's me, again! (And I am not stalking your blog...just enjoying a few minutes of dillydallying around on the internet before I go to bed!
But I am SO glad to hear that you are feeling better. Seriously. While you were finishing your pregnancy and having a baby these past 2 months or so, I spent a lot of time reading back through your archives. I enjoyed that so much! You've had a million great posts through the years, and reading them altogether like that really encouraged me to keep on buckling down and living within our means (especially lately, with the cost of everything going through the roof!). I'm looking forward to you posting more again now that you are beginning to feel better! Yeah!!
Susan :-)

Anonymous said...

Hey Meredith! He's gorgeous! Just wanted to suggest sunshine for your sweet man to get his days and nights straight. If you don't want to go for an outside stroller walk (and who are we kidding, you have a new baby and you're exhausted), just put that cutie near a sunny window. That's always worked for mine when they were little - and might help with bilirubin too if that's still an issue. (praying it's not!) :)

Paula said...

What worked for us (our AA was always awake and alert at night, especially at 2AM, the hour she was born) was to take it EASY - Eat, Active, Sleep and lots of Yourself. Feed the baby, but NOT to sleep. Keep baby awake for some play time. THEN let baby sleep (not nursing baby to sleep) and lots of Mommy time. :) We have done this method with EVERY child from birth, and it works every time. It took about 2-3 weeks for our first (we did not know about taking it EASY with her), but the not feeding to sleep seemed to be KEY. Keeping her awake after the feeding was so important. - Paula

Sher's Creative Expressions said...

*Sigh* What a precious little angel!!

Blessings,

Sher

Camille said...

It's hard when they are so little (it gets hard just to wake them up!), but I kept waking my daughter up every 2 hours or so during the day and did my best to keep her up for 1-2 hours. Then when I put her to bed for the night, I just let her sleep. We also did a "dream feed" where we fed her between 10-11 PM (without waking her). It worked! I was so afraid to wake her up at first, but I got over it. :-)

Sarah Rose said...

I'm in the boat right there with you... it's gotten a little bit better every night these past few nights, though. Our goal is to wake her up every two to three hours, but it doesn't always happen. It is SO HARD to wake up a newborn! A friend of mine used ice on her little one's feet to keep him up during the day; we haven't gone that far. Yet.

It's 1am, and I'm up making sure that our littlest is back to sleep for good... so I'm right there with you, friend! Rest while you can -- I know how hard that part is, too!

Janette said...

I turned our household up side down. It seemed that our new bundle (now a 23 year old) loved the noise of the day to sleep and thought the quiet of the night was for him to have me alone.
I turned on a noisy fan and a TW in his room at night and kept the household quiet in the day- took him outside for sun and was quiet with him. It took about a week to turn my (continuing to be) quiet boy around.
He is BEAUTIFUL!

Anonymous said...

Hi Meredith!

My parents had the same problem with me when I was a baby. From what they have told me, they kept me awake for longer so I would wake up later, one hour at a time. I don't know if that happened every day or every few days, but you could give it a try. :)

I have a pen said...

SO glad you are feeling like yourself again, Meredith. And John is beautiful, looks like your other two : )

I agree with Paula's comment above, and the first commenter who suggested 'Babywise'. We did very similar things, and even though the kids have vastly different personalities, worked like a charm! So pleasant to have an orderly homelife.

The main thing being NOT to nurse them to sleep, but put down awake after being fed and played with and loved on, on a regular little 2-3 hour schedule, including that 10-11 pm dream feeding written above. Should resolve soon!

deb meyers

Southerner said...

Oh, just sleep when you can. This is not the time to be all about your little ones don't sit in front of videos- use them often. Whenever anyone offers to help, take it. Let them go to the store, cook, clean, come take your laundry to wash. Sit and cuddle and smell him, big ol whiffs.

TulipGirl said...

What I did with my fourth probably isn't exactly the advice you're asking for. . .

But the busy-ness of the household in the daytime, the bustle of other kids, really put me in the mood to ENJOY the time I had babymooning with the new one at night. Rocking in the living room, looking out the window at the stars, singing lullabyes, snuggling with the baby when he got drowsy. . .

Like a previous poster, I did Babywise with the first two. But ditched it with the third, and with the fourth realized that I had such a few short months to just ~enjoy~ the newborn stage. . . Just a few short months and so many distractions with the older children and a household to run. I babymooned as much as I could. . . And I am glad I did that.

DeeAnn said...

Meredith- No practical advice but he's beautiful.

Edi said...

What worked with our two...nurse or feed on a schedule...if baby is sleeping during the day and it's been a few hours - wake to feed. Try to keep baby awake after feeding. Keep the room brightly lit and don't walk around in whispers. But at night - let baby sleep as long as he will, keep as quiet as possible when feeding, keep lights off as much as possible when changing diaper etc.

One thing I found - with any "method" or book or advice you may receive - if it doesn't work - don't worry, eventually it all works out. I was so sure I was doing all I was supposed to do and it wasn't working and I was wigging out (first baby)...easier the next time realizing no one has all the answers on my PARTICULAR baby and what worked for one baby won't necessarily work best for mine.

Karen said...

We are huge Babywise fans. Bottom line: at John's wee age, don't let him go more than 3 hours between feedings during the day. His nights will grow longer soon!
Here's hoping SOMETHING works!

SMS said...

Hi. I am the mother of new 12 week old identical twin girls. They are my first kids so I don't have a lot of advice but since our girls were pre-term (born at 37 weeks) they were really hard to keep awake during the day to feed. They had their days and nights mixed up in the early days as well. What I did was to wake them every 2-3 hours during the day to feed - yes it was hard to keep them awake but we did our best. Then at night we let them sleep as long as they could sleep, without waking them to eat. They woke on their own because they were hungry. This was our way of helping them distinguish between day and night. In the day Mama wakes us up to eat and at night we get to wake ourselves up. That worked for us. Hang in there I remember very clearly what it was like. He is adorable by the way :)

Eva/ faerieeva said...

I hope any of the other comments help. With my first, there was nothing that helped. He kept waking up four times a night till he was eight months old when we finally just had to let him cry it out.
People kept saying to keep him awake during the day, but I have not found how to keep a baby determined to sleep, awake. You can't shake him and he slept through whatever noise.
My one advice is to try and take any help you can so you can sleep whenever he sleeps.

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy that you're feeling better, Meredith. As you mentioned, with the way things were before, anything must feel like an improvement!!! I wish I had some help to offer. My three were often so random in their sleep at first...they didn't really have their days & nights turned around. But even that was exhausting. It just took time. And patience.

Brenda

TwoMuths said...

Those first weeks are so rough - a haze of sleeplessness! I did what a few previous posters suggested - waking during the day every 2-3 hours for feedings, but I didn't "try" to keep the babies awake - I let them sleep between feedings if they wanted to. By 6 weeks, both of my kiddos were sleeping through the night with the last feeding around 10 (this one seems to cluster feed from 7-10) and then one feeding around 4-5 am. Hoping for better sleep or you!!

Meridith said...

No advice, but lots of prayers... (((hugs)))

Anonymous said...

We woke our little one to nurse at 11 pm, While he wass eating, we put a hot water bottle (wrapped in towels) to warm the bed. Removed it when we put the baby back in bed. He was warm and dry and full and slept...like a baby...good luck

Beth said...

He's so precious! What a wonderful gift from God!

I don't have any particular advice about getting his days and nights straights. That is maybe the ONE benefit of having preemies who spend a few weeks in NICU; the nurses put them on a schedule for you!

But I would guess, that since he's such a big guy, that once he decides to be awake during the day he will very quickly sleep all the way through the night. So you have that blessing to look forward to.

Michelle Smiles said...

No advice - just good thoughts for you!

Sallie@aquietsimplelife said...

No advice - just sympathy. The sleep deprivation was the hardest part of becoming a parent for me.

But he's a keeper for sure! :-)

Anonymous said...

We loved Babywise but that dosen't mean it will work for everyone. He is absolutely beautiful Meredith! Hang in there, it always gets better. What is that saying, "time can cure almost anything". Praying for you!

Shannon M said...

He is so precious! I know it isn't for everyone, but tucking my babies into bed with me the first time they wake up has been such a lifesaver for me. They go to sleep in their own bed, but once they wake up I put them between me and a guard rail on our bed and nurse them back to sleep - no more getting up for the rest of the night:)

Anonymous said...

Meredith,

John's color seems to be much better, so I'm assuming the jaundice is abating. That's great! I have no advice, but as a mom of three children in 4 years, I know how tired you must be. Just remember, it will get better! These are really the best years of your life, when you are rearing your children. Mine are grown now, and I miss their being little.

Kacie said...

What -- you mean to tell us that he doesn't know how to tell time yet? :)

Maybe you could get him an alarm clock, or you could move half-way around the world and just live in a time zone that's 12 hours different from where you are.

Lol, I'm joking of course. I have no advice, and as ya know I'll be in a similar boat as you in just a few months. If you figure out what works, let us know!

His Girl said...

Congratulations - he's adorable. Our 5th is 5 months old now and we are big fans of co-sleeping. We've practiced that with all 5 and the only child that kept me up after the first week after birth was the colicky one. I think the key is to do what's right for you...and sleep when you can (with other little ones, I know that's not easy).

Julieann said...

OHHH, He is just precious!! I have no idea how they get there days and nights mixed up--nor do I know how to fix it--but do know it only lasts awhile:) Enjoy him, he is beautiful!! Good Job, Mama!!!!!!

Julieann

Mary Ellen Barrett said...

I feel your pain, I'm expecting my eighth and never had a good sleeper.

He is just a beautiful baby!

Anonymous said...

Try to make things seem different at day and night, when wakes up in day open all the blinds, be louder and nurse in common area with all the commotion. Then at night, keep it dark when nursing and quiet and stay in the baby's room. I am not sure how many weeks he is now but I think it sorts out on its own by 2 months.

I am not much for waking babies, although I woke mine some during the day per the doctors instructions to make sure he was getting enough feedings. Not sure I would have done it just to "fix" the sleep problems. One thing I really don't like is an overtired baby.

Jennifer said...

Just try to keep him up more during the day, although it is so tempting to just let them sleep. With my kids it was frequently very difficult to get them to wake up and stay awake. Diaper changes, wet washclothes, changing their clothing will sometimes help and if they are still limp noodles at that point, I would give up. LOL Good luck!

Caro said...

I have no help for the sleeping part, but I just wanted to say how beautiful and photogenic your little one is. I hope his cuteness makes up for his wakefulness. (My husband's favorite thing to say is, "Never underestimate the power of a sleeping baby.")

Bethany said...

Wow, you have lots of advice already, but what has always worked for me is to wake them up during the day to feed them - like every 3 hours. Then makes sure to keep them awake to take in a full feeding. Sometimes that's a lot of work, but worth it so that they sleep at night.

nea said...

i haven't read all the replies, so forgive me is this is a repeat, but i think advice all comes as a matter of personal/family beliefs when it comes to babies and sleep. i will say, sleep for my #2 was different than #1 and you may be experiencing that too? with my little guy, i found the book Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi Mindell to be so very, very helpful. she gives thorough advice and examples on how to help babe, siblings, and parents get more sleep, regardless of beliefs on co-sleeping, crying-it-out, etc. just what i needed! i read it after my little one was past 3 months, so i had to ignore the parts that made me feel "behind" on helping my son sleep and that was just fine. john is still so little, that this next comment won't hold true yet, but my son got fairly "old" before i realized i was nursing him to sleep every time, so when he woke, he didn't know how to fall back to sleep on his own. good luck!

Lu said...

No advice. Not sure what I would do with two little ones and a newborn. Hoping that you can give me wisdom when my time comes around!!! Spending lots of good sleep vibes to that precious babe of yours!

Shannon M said...

I just thought I'd add my two cents about why babies are born with their days and nights mixed up. It makes perfect sense if you think about when the baby was in the womb. All day long they're rocked in a nice warm pool, lots of background noise to lull them to sleep. Then mom eats supper and a few hours later gets still and tries to go to sleep...energy burst from the food kicks in and baby is awake and ready to play:) I think that's why my babies always seem to sllep best through the day in a baby wrap or sling (or the swing) and then seem to crank up in the evening.
It's always really helped me to think of things from the new baby's point of view - they eventually get used to how we do things out here:)
By the way, my granny says to lay them on the bed they were conceived in and spin them counterclockwise three times to reset their clocks:) I guess if one was on vacation, one would just be out of luck!

Ewokgirl said...

Since I don't have kids, I don't have a lick of advice for you. I just wanted to say that I'm glad you're feeling better.

gclyne said...

Hey Meredith! What a beautiful baby boy!! Funny that you brought up this topic b/c it's just another thing I forgot about from having my first just 3 yrs ago. And with our own little boy due in just a few months, it's a good thing for me to try to remember. I know we did what others have discussed: keeping baby awake after feedings during the day, for maybe 30 minutes, though I recall that being a pretty lofty goal. My hubby and I used to laugh at the lengths we'd go to to keep that little baby awake, from noises to charades to other silliness. I think we did this for a few weeks, and she did fairly well at sleeping through the night within no time. I got her up for one late night feeding before I went to bed, and she got up on her own for one other. Other than that, she was good for about 12 hrs of nighttime sleep within a month or so.

Good Luck!!
Grace

Tubo Family said...

Having had two pre-termers I would say to not forget that, big baby that he may be, John may not be as "mature" as he looks so may take longer than the average bear to adjust himself or follow your lead. I'd ditto the waking to feed during day and MAKING TIME (not easy I know--if you don't have a village of elders and teens around to mind the other kiddos then may I suggest--temporarily--our modern helpers: tv & dvds) for cluster feeding in the early evening. Since "sleeping through" is actually only six hours consider stretching out the night's sleep (or at least the dozing while prone) by bringing him into your bed for more cluster feeding when he wakes after the six hour mark Just makes me tired thinking of it... Best wishes, I'll be thinking of you." Glad to hear you are feeling better overall.

Chris said...

He is just gorgeous, Meredith.

Having just had #7 one week ago, I am going to second TulipGirl above. It doesn't make for better rest, especially if you don't have any help during the day (and I never have) but with each baby (and this will most likely be our last) I realize just how much I miss the baby cuddling that seems to get overlooked with little ones running around needing care. The nighttime hours are the only time we can enjoy that.

Tracey said...

NO ADVICE HERE BUT WHEN YOU GET IT WORKED OUT LET ME KNOW...I'LL BE DEALING WITH THE SAME THING IN DECEMBER! GOD BLESS!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the little one. So glad to hear that you are both improving! I too have loved the night time to just be with my babies. We enjoyed a Family Bed with all of them. I was always rested and able to keep up with the rest of the bunch that way. Just a question....does little John always sleep on his stomach? Some doctors caution about it as a position. Some babies however have other ideas!

Anonymous said...

As a nurse, I have to mention here that co-sleeping and putting babies on their stomachs to sleep is NOT recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics. There is an increased risk of SIDS with these practices. Please, please, please, do not co-sleep with your baby!!! The risk of rolling over and suffocating your baby is not worth you getting a little extra sleep!

Karen

Alex said...

I didn't read all of the comments, so I don't know if someone already mentioned this, but I LOVED my SwaddleMe. It's basically a blanket with velcro that keeps the baby swaddled. Unfortunately, I didn't discover it until my third child, but #3 and #4 did quite well with it! Hope this helps.

Meredith@MerchantShips said...

Sleeping on stomach--this photo shows a daytime moment. Despite how we position and play with him during the day, he can't help nodding off to sleep almost instantly.

Our oldest child developed significant head molding due to sleeping solely on his back and side (enough to require helmet therapy), so I am careful to give him plenty of supervised tummy time during the day.

Thanks for all the recommendations!

Anonymous said...

didn't read all the comments - just wanted to say what I did with my two and they're great sleepers now (but who knows if that's why!!).

Wake the baby up every 2-3 hours during the day to nurse. Even when he's sleeping during the day, keep him in the light and noise of daily activity - that helps him to know it's daytime. At night, make sure his space is dark and quiet. When your pediatrician gives you the OK, DO NOT wake the baby at night to feed.
blessings on you. these first weeks can be such a whirl of stuff.
Margo

Michelle- This One\'s for the Girls said...

The Babywise idea of waking up baby every 3 hours during the day but after 10 or 11pm, letting baby wake up on his own and only feed on demand during the night really worked for me.

In fact, this worked with all five of mine. All were sleeping through the night by 3 months (give or take) or so and I was able to function and take care of the rest of my family much better!

Michelle
www.thisonesforthegirls.wordpress.com


Also-- pray! :)

Anonymous said...

Precious Prince you have there --- Baby wise was our only hope, Meredith!
Latrice - WMINW!

Mother Hen said...

What a cutie! Reminds me of a coupla Pirates I know, at that age. ;) The only advice I didn't see above, and I might have just missed it, (you do have a ton of comments here!) is to keep it dark during the night and lie down with him as much as possible. Babies are, in fact, people. He'll catch on pretty soon, that it's way boring in the night and day time is where the livin' happens! Such cheeks though! How do you resist little squeezes all the time?

Darla~SassyHomemaker said...

I had one of those. He slept for 4+ hours during the day then was up all night. Super. Finally at about the 2 month mark he was sleeping through the night (until he got a cold...but I digress).

Eventually he'll catch on to your schedule. For now, you will feel like a mac truck ran you over.

Anonymous said...

The best book I have ever read about children and sleep is called "Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child"
It is excellent!

Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas said...

He's so sweet!! A couple of my babies were turned around but I don't remember how we righted the ship. I guess I slept-walked through that part!

Barb Desmarais said...

Just KNOW that this will pass. So many of us went through the same thing. Soon it will be behind you. Be easy on yourself. Sleep during the day when the baby sleeps.

Barb Desmarais

the pleasures of homemaking said...

No advice, just wanted to say he's adorable!

Manuela

Anonymous said...

I am with the "two month" people. I tried scheduling stuff with mine, and it didn't seem to do much good until about 2 months old. Two months only seems like a long time when you are the mom who is getting up to nurse all night. It will go fast!

zzmommy said...

What a cutie pie! No advice for non-sleepers... I ended up co-sleeping - which I never thought I'd do!! :) Good luck though!

Elizabeth G. said...

Meredith,

It looks like you are getting plenty of advice. I had a similar situation. I was going crazy with fatigue. Then, a wonderful friend taught me the eat-play-sleep schedule. I was desperate and tried it. It worked. Within 48 hours I had a different baby.

If you are interested in finding out more about this, please e-mail me at:
appleseedacademy@yahoo.com
or write me on my blog and I will be happy to explain it to you!

God bless you, Mama!
Elizabeth

Tubo Family said...

Meredith, just had a thought re: John's wakefulness at night & sleepiness during day. Perhaps bright light during day is not as helpful as one would hope because he closes eyes against the glare. I'm having a foggy memory of my Corby doing that with bright light in general after spending some time under the hospital grade bili lights. Maybe indirect lighting would be more helpful in encouraging him to keep his eyes open and explore his world a bit. Alison

Carrien said...

I don't know if anyone has said this yet, you have a lot of comments.

I just take my babies to bed with me and sleep next to them. They wake less. I don't have to get up to nurse them, we fall asleep together as they are nursing, and they get on my sleep schedule quickly. I just put up a rail on the side of the bed so they don't fall out.

For more check out co-sleeping at ask dr. sears

Seriously, co-sleeping is wonderful, I'm so much more rested after the babies are born than other wise.

Tracey said...

We used a lot of Babywise wisdom with our little ones. We also swaddled them tight and tanked them up with an extra feeding before bed for the first month or so.

Sleep tight brother John!

hill upon hill said...

Congratulations. He looks so beautiful. 3 is busy and after that you can cope with anything, we now have 4.

We always woke our babies during the day (3-4 hourly) to feed, then a little wake time, then sleep. This routine over and over again. At night time, we let the baby sleep, but if breast feeding you shouldn't go past 6/7 hours I think. Also if jaundice an issue still, you may have to wake him more often through the night. After any night feeds, no wake time, just put back to bed. The idea is to fill them up in the day and teach them that night time is sleep time. We gained great wisdom from the Ezzos' Growing Kids God's Way. Rest whenever you can and enjoy, these are good times.