Make your own crackers...or don't

Sleep deprivation through teething: I can hardly make conversation, let alone crackers.

I whipped up my favorite recipe to photograph for all of you. The dough would not cooperate.

Now, I am dough-challenged, but I can usually manage an uneven 1/8 " thickness.

Today I patted the dough into a lumpy flatness and called it "artisanal."

(Didn't you know? In today's world, that term applies to anything not extruded from a machine!)

I was slicing my rustic-but-elegant crisps when everyone else admitted that they hadn't enjoyed eating them the last couple of months.

Well! Thanks for telling me AFTER I proudly informed the whole internet!

Here's a recipe for a cheap, all-purpose wheat cracker similar to Wheat Thins. The Tightwad Gazette features a similar recipe. If you can roll out sugar cookie dough, you can roll out crackers!

Wheat grinding mamas will enjoy the recipe in Martha Greene's Family Cookery Book. Perhaps I should have tried her teething biscuits instead?

For the rest of us, here are a few easier ways to make your own cracker-substitutes:

Slice tortillas into sixths and bake at 400 until golden brown. Shake them in a paper bag filled with a combination of spices. We like garlic salt.

Cut your leftover bagels into thin rounds. Bake at 400 until toasty. These don't get teeth-breakingly-hard as storebought Bagel Chips. Mist with olive oil and herbs. Bonus points for those of you who make your own bagels a la Tammy's Recipes.

Use your bread machine to make a thin crust pizza dough. Add fresh herbs to the dough before rolling it out as thinly as possible. After baking, use a pizza wheel to slice into long strips. Perfect for garnishing a fancy salad!