tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post4480630129457529852..comments2024-02-02T07:13:37.313-06:00Comments on Like Merchant Ships: Ethical question: sharing meals?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger114125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-76547111661697349582008-06-03T02:23:00.000-05:002008-06-03T02:23:00.000-05:00We share every time we go out to eat--the 3 and 5 ...We share every time we go out to eat--the 3 and 5 year old share a meal and I share mine with the 20 month old. After reading this, I realize that I need to make sure that I am tipping enough--I had never considered the number of people the waiter/waitress is helping. <BR/><BR/>Usually for the tip, I double the tax on our bill (which should more than cover our family), but I am going to check the next time and add it up--just in case!<BR/>:)KatAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-26037934520441089112008-06-03T00:00:00.000-05:002008-06-03T00:00:00.000-05:00So would these places that give meal +Salad bar op...So would these places that give meal +Salad bar options raise a fuss if you bagged the meal to take home and only ate the salad bar there?MommyLydiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15608956553350425075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-77252628328254272192008-06-02T21:20:00.000-05:002008-06-02T21:20:00.000-05:00Sorry Meredith, but I won't "understand when I'm a...Sorry Meredith, but I won't "understand when I'm a parent", (which is a pretty tired line to begin with, and, I must say, a *bit* condescending) since I'm planning to never be one. <BR/><BR/>I see parents do this all the time at restaurants and I hear my waitressing friends complain about it. How the parents expect the same level of service for 4 people, but only want to pay (and tip) for two meals. Not to mention the clean-up required after children dine. I'm sorry, I just don't buy it.Mistihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14264597603886271247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-86415089942586999112008-06-02T20:40:00.000-05:002008-06-02T20:40:00.000-05:00We split meals ALL the time. The portions in most...We split meals ALL the time. The portions in most places are too large, so why buy two meal when one will feed both of you. We don't share when we go to Chick-fil-A. :-)Teehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03088084100704891439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-26393928007416497802008-06-02T20:12:00.000-05:002008-06-02T20:12:00.000-05:00if a server raised an eyebrow at me when i ordered...if a server raised an eyebrow at me when i ordered, i would ask what the restaurant's policy is, specific to that order and act accordingly or leave. no harm and no ill feelings. everyone understands each others 'position. this restaurant may not be the appropriate family place. good information to have until the children are older. anitaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-86486216797285883752008-06-02T18:18:00.000-05:002008-06-02T18:18:00.000-05:00But I think ordering a meal for somebody else, eve...<I>But I think ordering a meal for somebody else, even if they are kids, and then using the unlimited salad bar as your meal is tacky</I><BR/><BR/>I only ate one plate of green salad, not 3 trips through an unlimited salad bar!<BR/><BR/>I just didn't see any reason to pay $5 more for the exact same amount of food. <BR/><BR/>I wouldn't have eaten more than 1 plate of salad even had I paid an additional $7.99 for the unlimited salad bar itself.Meredithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08455517419708043340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-48276979697607285372008-06-02T17:12:00.000-05:002008-06-02T17:12:00.000-05:00Wow, I see I'm a little late in commenting (106)! ...Wow, I see I'm a little late in commenting (106)! <BR/><BR/>My hubby and I always share, even on date nights. It's just what we do.<BR/><BR/>We also asked our kids to give up soda, as we figured soda x 3 kids x 1 yr (eating out) = 1 plane ticket ... somewhere.<BR/><BR/>The kids agreed. Hey, I think that could be a future post! :)Sandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08910644413175366761noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-56263651327631245182008-06-02T17:07:00.000-05:002008-06-02T17:07:00.000-05:00If it was a normal sharing of a meal, then I'd say...If it was a normal sharing of a meal, then I'd say no problem... But I think ordering a meal for somebody else, even if they are kids, and then using the unlimited salad bar as your meal is tacky. The meal package of a discounted salad bar is offered to the person with the meal... So to order a meal, then divide it up so somebody can eat from an unlimited salad bar and somebody else gets a whole meal... And this meal was divided not just among two people, but three... I'd be embarrassed if somebody at my table did that, with kids or otherwise. It crosses that line from frugal to cheap, IMHO.<BR/><BR/>I think that if you'd wanted the salad bar, you should have ordered it for yourself, and given the kids a meal with no salad bar to share. It's more expensive to order the salad bar if that's all you're getting, but you usually save a couple bucks by not adding the salad bar to a meal, so any difference in price is minor. <BR/><BR/>If the price difference of a couple bucks is too much for you to palate, then sticking to meals at home is the way to go. Eating out is expensive and I can understand wanting to save money, but I think the method you used is as bad as going to a place to eat, ordering a soda, then eating the free pre-appetizer chips or bread and not ordering anything off the menu, paying only for the soda you drank. Splitting a non-appetizer meal three ways, and getting a price discount on a menu offering for ordering that combo and giving it to a third person... Tacky.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-12251353338364777652008-06-02T16:38:00.000-05:002008-06-02T16:38:00.000-05:00I have never had anyone say anything to me about s...I have never had anyone say anything to me about sharing food with my child & if they did, then I would leave.<BR/><BR/>Why pay for a meal when the kid eats nothing, kwim?Meghanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06421889281904919614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-28489698473324840722008-06-02T14:28:00.001-05:002008-06-02T14:28:00.001-05:00As a mom, I have been there many times too. As a p...As a mom, I have been there many times too. As a previous waitress, what I usually do is make a comment or ask a question before we order to feel the server/place out. Sometimes, (if they are a mom and it is a family place and your kid is small) they say "no problem" but other times, they aren't offering you any help at all. Usually I try to order a side dish vs. a kids meal whenever possible to save $$ and eat healthy portions.robynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16407319184170571358noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-21500794996072175622008-06-02T14:28:00.000-05:002008-06-02T14:28:00.000-05:00Meredith,Why on earth should you just have gone to...Meredith,<BR/><BR/>Why on earth should you just have gone to a fast food place? There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you did! My sister and I used to go to a nearby restaurant that had huge burgers and a heaping plate of kitchen cut fries. We ALWAYS asked for an extra plate and shared the meal as it was all the two of us could eat!<BR/><BR/>Would they have preferred you sent the burgers and fries back to be thrown out? What you did makes perfect sense to me. As to that type of food being a treat, I agree. My kids were allowed to order a soda or chocolate milk when they were young when we ate out. It was a treat, and they usually chose the milk. They didin't eat that way every day!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-50595510544041159762008-06-02T13:07:00.000-05:002008-06-02T13:07:00.000-05:00You've gotten alot of feedback on this, and I don'...You've gotten alot of feedback on this, and I don't have time to read all the comments, but had a thought. I wonder if the waiter raised his eyebrows at your request of an extra plate, because his first thought was that you would use it for the kids at the salad bar. I know you wouldn't have and he probably realized that too after a moment.<BR/><BR/>We share too. And waiters/waitresses are generally very accommodating. But are also mindful of the tip we leave, especially since we pray before the meal that kindof labels a family, and we have heard many stories about "cheap Christians" in regards to tipping. There is a witness there.Robertahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09455835076577157629noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-21020769872830465802008-06-02T12:58:00.000-05:002008-06-02T12:58:00.000-05:00I went to lunch with my toddler today (it was one ...I went to lunch with my toddler today (it was one of those days, and it just seemed like a great idea--LOL). He shared off my plate, and the waitress brought him an extra biscuit. I did tip a little bit more than I would have had it been me alone ($3 vs $2).<BR/><BR/>I think what you did was perfectly appropriate.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-24607093911693052242008-06-02T10:54:00.000-05:002008-06-02T10:54:00.000-05:00I order however I see fit (and would have ordered ...I order however I see fit (and would have ordered similarly to you), but then base the tip on having ordered a "typical" meal for each person eating table food so that the waiter doesn't come out behind. From the waiters point of view, a "4 top" (with 4 guests & 4 meals ordered) given good service should result in a bigger tip than a "2 top."Tubo Familyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13648885392472180009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-11611102458889932162008-06-02T10:45:00.000-05:002008-06-02T10:45:00.000-05:00I think splitting a meal is fine.I think splitting a meal is fine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-14657886297409951362008-06-02T10:20:00.000-05:002008-06-02T10:20:00.000-05:00Yes, my guess is that Misty will understand better...Yes, my guess is that Misty will understand better if she ever has 2 kids and lives on a budget with them. <BR/><BR/>Wasting food and money is a crime. There are resources involved in producing both that we would be wise to conserve.Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01725324685109415066noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-14023129386131001422008-06-02T07:14:00.000-05:002008-06-02T07:14:00.000-05:00I share meals with my kids (6 & 8) and they share ...I share meals with my kids (6 & 8) and they share with one another regularly. We dine out at least twice a week. What I feel utterly uncomfortable sharing are 'all you can eat' situations (salad bars included). I think that is the line I dare not cross when ordering. Otherwise, sharing is encouraged in our dining.sherrihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13627137077537600965noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-18328571363634417422008-06-02T07:11:00.000-05:002008-06-02T07:11:00.000-05:00I think that as long as the restaurant doesn't hav...I think that as long as the restaurant doesn't have a policy stated on their menu regarding plate sharing and you are EXPLICIT in what you are sharing, and the establishment doesn't have a problem with it, then I would have no hesitations in sharing with the kids. If they have a problem with it, they need to properly display their policies. Otherwise, go for it. Personally, I don't share very often with my husband, but look at most restaurant meals as dinner tonight and lunch tomorrow. <BR/><BR/>Bottom line from what I read from previous comments, I think restaurants need to take a closer look at what smaller meal options, not only for older children, but for adults as well. Many of your readers don't want so much food and/or don't want to create waste. Fortunately, many places are doing just that. Kids menus are very limited and in my opinion, often not worth the money you pay and what eight-year-old needs to eat an adult sized portion?<BR/><BR/>As a past waitress where salad bars were available, I personally don't ever remember an instance where people shared a salad bar, or even split up a meal with a salad bar, however, I could have missed it being so busy. Thinking back to the server's reaction, he may have been caught off guard and was just trying to figure out how you were making it all work. Exhaustion at the end of a shift setting in...can make things fuzzy!<BR/><BR/>This post really made me consider what to do myself, since at this time I don't have any children, but do have one on the way. I think I might call ahead to see what the restaurant's policies are, and get the name of the manager/supervisor I spoke to. Or, you could ask before being seated. Is this overkill? Maybe. But, it might prevent a scene, and who wants a scene when you are on vacation or having dinner with someone? I also think that if a restaurant is accommodating, I will tip the server a bit more and explain to the server or manager that I will continue supporting their establishment (and also tell my friends about them) because they allow for me to share with my children. Win-win for everybody.Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00458976652322336001noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-19723080834691840752008-06-02T05:26:00.000-05:002008-06-02T05:26:00.000-05:00I think it is wrong to share your food, at a buffe...I think it is wrong to share your food, at a buffet, or salad bar, but not a "fixed price" item. My husband and I sometimes share a hamburger at a place that serves huge hamburgers, and they don't mind that at all. It is just the occasional family that tries to feed everyone from the buffet or salad bar, that gives sharing a bad name.nancyrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03607720003538273566noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-29412290779485872842008-06-01T22:59:00.000-05:002008-06-01T22:59:00.000-05:00I'd do the same thing you did. I do not see a prob...I'd do the same thing you did. I do not see a problem with ordering in the way you did.texasmcvayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13672144667554705241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-58951662711312062892008-06-01T22:55:00.000-05:002008-06-01T22:55:00.000-05:00Misti, perhaps you'll understand when you have kid...Misti, perhaps you'll understand when you have kids.<BR/><BR/>It is a crime to buy a toddler a $5kids meal when he will only take two bites of it.<BR/><BR/>In hindsight, we should have just gone to fast food. However, we were absolutely stuck in traffic and Ruby Tuesday was the closest restaurant.Meredithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08455517419708043340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-2753849757179494842008-06-01T22:49:00.000-05:002008-06-01T22:49:00.000-05:00Catherine, good questions.My kids ONLY get french ...Catherine, good questions.<BR/><BR/>My kids ONLY get french fries at a restaurant. We NEVER eat like that at home.<BR/><BR/>Since it's easier to feed healthy foods at home, we let the kids have a special treat of ordering a "fun food" the rare times we do eat out.<BR/><BR/>If I were cooking burgers at home, I'd be using the extra-lean organic beef I bought on sale and froze. Instead of fries or chips, I have a big platter of cut up vegetables with dip. Fruit for dessert.<BR/><BR/>I just find it easier to let everyone have a treat if/when we eat out. For me, a treat is a salad bar that I don't have to wash, cut, and clean up!Meredithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08455517419708043340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-54117045764413087872008-06-01T22:46:00.000-05:002008-06-01T22:46:00.000-05:00It looks like everyone has the same thoughts, but ...It looks like everyone has the same thoughts, but I was just going to say, I have had waitresses suggest this to me, but usually I would say out loud that it was just me eating the salad bar.Martha A.https://www.blogger.com/profile/02426112535240400393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-58529102854402051272008-06-01T22:33:00.000-05:002008-06-01T22:33:00.000-05:00Sorry, thats just cheap, in my opinion. You go to ...Sorry, thats just cheap, in my opinion. You go to a restaurant, each person gets a meal; anything else is pretty tight-fisted. Take home the left-overs if needs be.Mistihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14264597603886271247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-83153977014407976912008-06-01T21:50:00.000-05:002008-06-01T21:50:00.000-05:00Meredith,Others have answered your original questi...Meredith,<BR/><BR/>Others have answered your original question amply, well, but I wanted to raise a different issue--with no intent to criticize you personally, but point out something ironic about our culture. Why is it that you bought the "healthy" meal for yourself, and ordered food high in fat and low in nutritive value for your children? Again, I am not criticizing. This is what everyone does and it's so normal that no one ever bats an eyelash. In fact, kids' menus are universally filled with hot dogs, mac-n-cheese, fried foods, burgers, ice cream, etc., with hardly a vegetable to be found. So in asking this question, I only mean to point out something we rarely notice and think is normal, but is really kind of strange.<BR/><BR/>So, my comment is why didn't you order salad for your children? The usual answer is that they wouldn't eat it, but my experience as a parent is that a child will never develop a taste for veggies if they don't have a chance to eat them. So, next time, I say forget the budget and give the kids a shot at the salad bar. Salad bars are so much fun for kids anyway. It's always more fun to eat something you have "created" yourself, and when it's a bar, you don't have to take anything you don't want. Plus, it's a chance to leave your seat and wander around the restaurant. What kid could resist that?<BR/><BR/>Just something to think about. Cheers!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com