tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post1142565018319850811..comments2024-02-02T07:13:37.313-06:00Comments on Like Merchant Ships: Do I dare?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-55264157937563029192007-12-17T12:06:00.000-06:002007-12-17T12:06:00.000-06:00My husband bought that exact tray for me for Chris...My husband bought that exact tray for me for Christmas last year and I know it cost no less than $50---makes me sick you found one new in the box for only $3. I would keep it I were you as it is a great serving piece...but, if I was a new bride again, I would be thrilled to have it as a wedding present. The non-polishable items are very hot for brides these days!Janahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13350850910902645035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-9528441539952622232007-12-15T06:44:00.000-06:002007-12-15T06:44:00.000-06:00Can I make one more comment about this, and then s...Can I make one more comment about this, and then say no more? I know the last commenter thought that a girl would be rude to question a gift's orgin, but in defense of young brides everywhere, I don't really see it that way. I think that weddings seem to bring out a lot of ideas of fantasy and perfection in most young women. They (and we did, too) all want the "perfect" wedding, with the "perfect" dress, the "perfect" colors, the "perfect" music, etc. etc. etc. I think there is this fantasy of finally living out the fairy tale and then living "happily ever after". If that wasn't true, there wouldn't be so many stories, and even TV programs, about brides melting down over things that, to everyone else, seem like absolutely nothing! Every girl doesn't go through this to the same degree obviously, nor is every girl conceited and rude. I just think that brides look at things differently during that time in their lives than they do later on when they've moved past that stage of trying to live out their storybook wedding. So my whole point about the serving tray, and a bride suspecting that it might be thrifted/regifted, etc., is to just give her something that is emotionally neutral and let it go at that. I think that most girls quickly begin to mature after "real life" begins, and ask them 5 years up the road if they'd like this tray, and they'd grab it in a heartbeat! And I don't think I am completely wrong about this wedding thing...or there wouldn't be 41 comments on this post! I don't think ladies are commenting about the tray, per se, as much as they are about their feelings that surround the whole brides/wedding thing. So that's my 2 cents again! (That makes 4 cents altogether!) Please let us know, Meredith, what you finally decide to do with this tray!<BR/> SusanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-76038037979795676982007-12-14T19:04:00.000-06:002007-12-14T19:04:00.000-06:00Ok - there are 40 comments about this, so I'm sure...Ok - there are 40 comments about this, so I'm sure what I'm going to say has been said before...but I'm sayin' it anyway.<BR/><BR/>Any bride who would even question "where" a gift was purchased doesn't deserve a gift at all. The gift is lovely, clean, in excellent condition and thoughtful. If it was the EXACT same item only purchased in a department store for 10 times the price and the bride would accept it as a lovely gift, then why should she care if someone bought it elsewhere?<BR/><BR/>Any bride who'd turn her nose up at ANY GIFT is a rude girl. Besides, it is very poor manners to question a gift's origin, certainly to the giver, but also to others (then that could be gossip). <BR/><BR/>Give it as a gift or keep it for yourself - it is a lovely dish that anyone would enjoy!Kerryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08779939436015866490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-80707872198313977742007-12-14T13:00:00.000-06:002007-12-14T13:00:00.000-06:00Hmm...I'd have to be honest on this one. I'd take ...Hmm...I'd have to be honest on this one. I'd take it and donate it to MY local thrift shop. That being said, the only reason I would is because it isn't my style. Like 7gerbers said, giver know thy giftee. <BR/><BR/>And just as another comment, if she hadn't registered for items like this, she may 1) not need them or 2) not want them. <BR/><BR/>Guess it is up to you, but if I were you, I'd keep it :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-56494918565736075352007-12-14T07:39:00.000-06:002007-12-14T07:39:00.000-06:00After reading all these comments, I agree with Sus...After reading all these comments, I agree with Susan the most -- have actually changed my mind after reading her post. And we know YOU would use the Armetale.<BR/><BR/>Except, a $10 gift certificate also sends a message. I don't LIKE giving gift certs because I feel like I have to give more money, so as not to appear cheap, than I would normally spend. But that's probably my Achilles Heel talking.<BR/><BR/>I have too much to do to be online today! argh!<BR/><BR/>deb meyersAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-15621219160886322822007-12-14T02:10:00.000-06:002007-12-14T02:10:00.000-06:00this is exactly why we did not register when we go...this is exactly why we did not register when we got married- because we thought it was neat getting beautiful, unique things (and four toasters... but you can never have too much toast, right?) i love that the things that people gave us don't "match." i love the patchwork of a home made up of things that the people close to us saw and loved, as opposed to living in a crate and barrel catalog. i'm sure that a lot of it was thrifted- and personally, i think that more thought goes into finding a beautiful piece at a thrift store than in clicking on something in a gift registry. please note that i am not disparaging anyone who purchases items off the registry! i do not think that people who do so are not thoughtful or anything like that. i am just supporting the idea of giving it to her and including some suggested uses. <BR/>love, magdaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-59074198668883633612007-12-14T00:54:00.000-06:002007-12-14T00:54:00.000-06:00Honestly? Keep it. If I had gotten this gift, it ...Honestly? Keep it. If I had gotten this gift, it would still be packed in its given box, stored in the closet with he rest of the obvious "serving" wear in hopes that one day I'll remember to give it out when entertaining (My husband and I will have been married 4 years in March). This just isn't my sort of thing. at least not yet. But it also isn't the sort of thing I would be comfortable giving away (yet anyway) but I've got 3 large serving plates stored away somewhere -- I don't even remember who gave them to me at this point so they can't even be useful for that :(. Never used.<BR/><BR/>OTOH, I HAVE used the stuff I asked for. Even the cloth napkins and fancy silverware that only comes out rarely, but still does come out.MommyLydiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15608956553350425075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-52116180976888396822007-12-13T23:15:00.000-06:002007-12-13T23:15:00.000-06:00I say that if you love it, you should absolutely k...I say that if you love it, you should absolutely keep it - you deserve something nice too!ChiefFamilyOfficerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03056844077936226008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-26122522631694197162007-12-13T22:27:00.000-06:002007-12-13T22:27:00.000-06:00OK, here's my two cents. I hope that this doesn't...OK, here's my two cents. I hope that this doesn't sound harsh, but most young girls getting married nowadays don't have a clue about hospitality. Many of them have been raised with moms that work, and hospitality just isn't something that they are really familiar with or even have an interest in. Most brides nowadays are very career oriented, too, and don't make any of the food if they do have people over. I keep thinking about the experience you had the one time when your very ungrateful guests (career women) made the comments when you were out of the room about how they would have just "outsourced" the food. (Maybe I shouldn't bring that up, but it still hurts me for you every time I think about it!). Honestly, unless this young woman has been raised in a home where they routinely practice hospitality and/or thrift, I think you're probably just wasting this gift on her. She won't appreciate it on any level, and you will always wish that you had kept it. I think there's a big learning curve in the early days of our marriages. My husband and I didn't have a lot of money in the early days of our marriage, and reading Amy Dacyczyn's book had a PROFOUND influence on my life. But prior to that, I'm not sure I would have appreciated a wedding gift of any sort if I suspected at all that it wasn't new. And if she doesn't like it and can't take it back, it will leave a different impression with her than you want. She will suspect that it was thrifted/regifted/used and possibly be miffed about it....even though you are spending a lot of money on the luncheon! (Aren't you thankful that God matures us from our young, immature days?!) I think you should just keep it, and spend the $10.00 on a gift certificate to a restaurant that this couple likes, (staying with the food theme!) and tell them they can have a fun luncheon time together after they are married (most likely when they are out returning half of the gifts they got!).<BR/><BR/> SusanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-6679146535926605032007-12-13T21:59:00.000-06:002007-12-13T21:59:00.000-06:00I think you should keep it for yourself.Few people...I think you should keep it for yourself.<BR/><BR/>Few people these days, especially young, newly married people do a lot of elegant entertaining. I'll admit I have my own collection of beautiful things languishing in the closet. At least if you keep it, you know it will be well used and loved.<BR/><BR/>I'm also a big fan of buying off registries whenever possible, especially if there are such reasonable choices as the tablecloth and napkins you mentioned.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-42575477790198758572007-12-13T21:18:00.000-06:002007-12-13T21:18:00.000-06:00I laughed out loud when I saw this post. I bought...I laughed out loud when I saw this post. I bought the center dip holder portion of that set this summer at a yard sale. I couldn't figure out what it was. I thought it was a thistle because they had a lot of stuff from Scottland at the yard sale. I gave it to my scottish husband for his keys on his dresser. Shoud I tell him it's for crab dip. I still love it though. That material feels really neat. <BR/>I would keep it. You can always use it to catch your keys when you're not serving food in it. <BR/>Just kidding,<BR/>AngelAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-39197666355396532242007-12-13T20:35:00.000-06:002007-12-13T20:35:00.000-06:00Just a comment to Mama K: Please don't write off y...Just a comment to Mama K:<BR/><BR/> Please don't write off your relative who gave you a shopworn gift ... insted of not caring, (s)he might just not have gifts as a love language. <BR/><BR/>Since gifts are NOT my love language ... words and acts of service are ... I have given my share of gifts that bombed. But it doesn't mean I don't care; it just means that I have a hard time picking great gifts.<BR/><BR/>JoraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-30535926655893982542007-12-13T18:45:00.000-06:002007-12-13T18:45:00.000-06:00I love Armentale stuff. I have a few platters tha...I love Armentale stuff. I have a few platters that I rec'd as gifts when we married. I don't use them a ton, but we use them more than average I'd say. <BR/><BR/>But these days, people would rather have plastic junk from Target, made in China than a classic that may not be used everyday....<BR/><BR/>I say keep it for yourself! :)TheNormalMiddlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12331429075393644206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-54768966878738913292007-12-13T18:32:00.000-06:002007-12-13T18:32:00.000-06:00OK-how badly do you want it? If you really like it...OK-how badly do you want it? If you really like it, and you have room to store it without it becoming clutter, and you will use it often, then you might keep it. If you think she will use it often, then it is an equally good gift idea. Or I like the other idea to ebay it. You could use the profits to get something off her registry and maybe leftover to get a gift for your husband or someone on the list.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-61986564011410193782007-12-13T18:23:00.000-06:002007-12-13T18:23:00.000-06:00Does she enjoy entertaining? You've probably taken...Does she enjoy entertaining? You've probably taken a peek at what else she's asking for and see if that style fits. If she enjoys entertaining and has room in the kitchen, I'd give it! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-52850172838881369752007-12-13T17:19:00.000-06:002007-12-13T17:19:00.000-06:00Meredith,Is her taste similar to yours? I think i...Meredith,<BR/>Is her taste similar to yours? I think it's a beautiful piece, but maybe her style may differ than yours?<BR/><BR/>For the price you paid I would go ahead and keep it. If it really gives you much joy already and you would use it often, why not keep it for yourself? <BR/><BR/>You mentioned spending about $60 for the food for the shower & that does not include your time and effort. I really think that is a very substantial gift in itself and don't see the need to give anything else. Just my .02. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-52605346298418250092007-12-13T15:53:00.000-06:002007-12-13T15:53:00.000-06:00I agree with 7gerbers. If you think she would be ...I agree with 7gerbers. If you think she would be ok if it's not a "brand new" item, go for it. But if you think it is something that she would not want either because of it's origin or because she wouldn't have a use for it, then keep it for yourself or save it for someone who would want it.<BR/>After all, giving a gift is about giving what the recipient would want or need, it's not so much about us and what WE want to give.<BR/><BR/>And I was offended when someone gave me a new, but clearly regifted picture frame for my wedding. (The stock picture was from the 80's and the box looked worn.) If it was the thought that counts, this relative (who clearly has some funds) didn't think much of me.<BR/><BR/>You clearly care a lot for this gal and are going through a lot of effort throwing her a party. A token gift from you would be all that is expected.mama khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05070909433011566246noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-50835979319509192292007-12-13T15:17:00.000-06:002007-12-13T15:17:00.000-06:00I would look at her registry and see what her dini...I would look at her registry and see what her dining ware is like. Is she registered for anything equally fancy? I'm getting married in May, and we registered for Fiesta ware so even though the server is beautiful ir wouldn't necessarily go with my other dining ware which would mean less use. But, if from looking at the registry it looks like it would go with her general decor/dining ware I would go for it. I recently received wine glasses as an engagement present that were old ones from a friend of my fiance's family, and I loved them. They are beautiful and will fit in well with the stem ware we did register for. <BR/><BR/>Hope that helps.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13375239445254343802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-89348457830989471952007-12-13T14:41:00.000-06:002007-12-13T14:41:00.000-06:00I think this lovely piece should be in a home wher...I think this lovely piece should be in a home where it will be used, i.e., YOURS. It would be a shame if it sat in a cupboard collecting dust when it could be serving you on a regular basis as you practice hospitality.<BR/><BR/>I say, give the bride a small item for which she registered, and put this gem to work!<BR/><BR/>Ritabluebonnetbelleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06429638450750697532noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-14486597054796506382007-12-13T14:19:00.000-06:002007-12-13T14:19:00.000-06:00If the bride is known to entertain I think she'll ...If the bride is known to entertain I think she'll like it very much. You don't need to let on that it is thrifted unless she wants to exchange it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-44000991128959672922007-12-13T14:06:00.000-06:002007-12-13T14:06:00.000-06:00That's really pretty! It amazes me how cheaply yo...That's really pretty! It amazes me how cheaply you find things! <BR/><BR/>Honestly, I think you should keep it, considering how often you host. However, I do think it would make a lovely wedding gift IF you think it's the bride's style. Personally, I would have liked that, but not all women would.Anne Marie@Married to the Empirehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16600919522369171555noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-81502694221558734772007-12-13T13:48:00.000-06:002007-12-13T13:48:00.000-06:00I think you should keep it, unless she has registe...I think you should keep it, unless she has registered for something very close to it on her registry.<BR/><BR/>You deserve to have something lovely like that-and you would get good use from it.Jenn @ Frugal Upstatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11737088723989230434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-33747201023985346162007-12-13T11:58:00.000-06:002007-12-13T11:58:00.000-06:00I received a WA piece as a wedding gift. I was no...I received a WA piece as a wedding gift. I was not registered for it, but I love it, and have often thought of purchasing one for a wedding gift, but cost generally prohibits it. Generally the less expensive items on a registry are the types of things that do not last. But a beautiful quality serving piece is something that will endure and can be used for display as well as service. I would give it without hesitation. Perhaps, as suggested above, include a personal note with suggested uses & directions. Or, perhaps, include with it some inexpensive linens on her registry (such as the napkins you mentioned).Tamarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03021379723374102765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-47056615707085103652007-12-13T11:15:00.000-06:002007-12-13T11:15:00.000-06:00If you know the bride well, give it to her. She m...If you know the bride well, give it to her. She may know your thrifty habits already anyway! My daughter and son-in-law's built-in craftsman cabinets are full of my thrifty finds--crystal, beautiful Johnson Brothers ironstone, service for 12 etc. They love it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12364613.post-84615087977796944512007-12-13T11:01:00.001-06:002007-12-13T11:01:00.001-06:00I was excited to receive WA pieces for a wedding g...I was excited to receive WA pieces for a wedding gift, even though I did not register for them. I used to work in the homestore dept. of Rich's and things did not always still have the original box, so we would do what you are planning to do, wrap it in tissue paper and put it in a box. I don't think the bride would ever know you thrifted this item unless she reads your blog.<BR/>That's my 2 cents...<BR/>EliseAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com